LoST
I am lost in an odd world.
Which way do I turn? What way do i run?
How do I get out? Should I follow my heart?
Should i listen to what the inner me has to say?
How long will it take? Will I ever find a way out?
How did I get in this place? Where am I?
I see some familiar things, few faces....
Lost in a deep dark place. It looks like there are 2 paths, which do i choose?
The path to a longer but more efficient recovery?
or the path of the quick and easy way out?
I am in a place of confusion, I dont know which to choose...
If i follow my instincts, will I be better off?
Of do I wanna wait....
I dont know, I am just so confused, so frustrated...
My mind clears....I see which way to go...
I follow what I truly feel.
Even though I do it alone, I am now free...
My mind is a maze, I tend to get a little lost...
Untitled
People try to judge others,
why do they even bother?
Dont they know everyone is not the same?
If not, we are all to blame.
If the world wasnt the way it was..
would we have more or less love?
What would life be like?
Would thoughts of change be wrong or right?
People fight and cry,
just as others live and die.
Everyone t hinks different thoughts,
and mine are derived of what I was taught.
Who does everyone learn from?
How do they know if their right or wrong?
I try to teach what I believe,
so that I wont lie or deceive.
The world today, is just a biased place,
when youre different...in their eyes you are a disgrace.
I hope that sometime soon,
you can feel how you trully feel without being looked at rude...
A Room
I sit in a room and wonder why,
I wonder why I let my life go by...
I wonder if its really me,
I wonder why it is that I cant see,
clearly what is really going on,
or realize why my life is so wrong.
Im wrong to think that no one cares,
because I hace friends that are there.
I sit in a room and wonder what I should do,
maybe I should start over, being completely true....
Lies
I know that I always lie,
I dont understand why.
I lie to everyone even myself,
I cry out, but I dont feel help.
I dont want to act like this,
but I feel that this is the only way I can live.
I try to make everyone else happy, but me.
When I do that, I think "How can this be?"
The only thing, that I want is to live completely true.
I want this but I dont know how to see it through.
If I became the person I want to show,
I know I'll lose a lot of friends because they wont know,
they dont know wyhat is really in my head,
At times I feel that I'd rather be dead.
(written about 2 years ago....)
you
You have no idea the pain you'be caused.
You dont know the suffering that i've had.
You dont know the hurt thats inside me.
You dont know how many times i've bled.
Dont see what you do to me?
Dont you see how wrong i am?
to feel this way...to see this way,
I konw what is right and wrong...
but my decisions show others differently.
its one thing to know right from wrong,
but another to act upon it..
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A Voice
A voice inside me tells me that I am doing wrong.
I tell myself that it will do no harm.
I have 2 minds, one for good, and the other bad,
they constantly battle which makes me mad.
I treat my body with all that isn't good,
deep down in my thoughts i think the same question, do you think i should?
No matter what I do, I cant sto, wont stop...
I cant stop untill i reach the top,
of what i have on my life standards.
I cry myself to sleep at night.
To wake up with all I do is fight,
for myself and others, I cant take care of myself,
but i defend everyone else.
Lately, I've been trying to stop or slow down.
I cant, I have pressure from myself and everyone around.
The only time I relax, is when I cry,
All the rest of the time, I'd much rather die.
I'm not a fan of suicide, even though I think about it everyday.
I wont because I know that its the wrong way.
Friends try to help, they haven't yet succeeded,
I thank them for it because help is needed.
I look around and all I see,
are happy, life-filled people, opposite of me.
One day I will be like them,
I try, but I never win.
Maybe today will be the last time, maybe not.
It's no fun anymore, it makes my soul rought.
The voice inside me, the one in my head,
wont be there forever, one day it will be dead.....
Life
Life is not predictable,
we dont know what'll happen to us.
Its all just a big gamble,
we deal with what was given to us.
There are always choices,
both lead to different ways.
We all have those inner voices,
but we rarely listen to what they have to say....
Life isn't easy to live,
people are dying all around.
Everything is taken away that we give,
its like your just shoved to the ground.
Life needs to learn to forgive,
people just hold grudges for solong,
then they forget why they hate the person,
all they know is the hate.
Life needs to learn how to live,
we need to all get along,
instead of not having any fun.
Life is all just a big debate,
you either win or lose......
Afraid
I am afraid , afraid of light and day.
I am afraid, afraid that my life will fade away.
I am afraid, afraid to cry.
I am afraid, afraid that I will die.
I am afraid, afraid for myself and others.
I am afraid, afraid to be myself futher....
I am afraid, afraid of love.
I am afraid, afraid that there is no God above.
I am afraid, afraid of what might be true.
I am afraid, afraid to say "I love you...."
Untitled 2
I try to hide how I feel,
but it doesn't always work.
I make myself think this isn't real,
and that makes me hurt.
Deep down inside,
I know the truth.
All I wanna do is hide,
destroy all proof.
People aren't really as they seem,
I know that for a fact.
Life can be very mean,
I've seen a portion of that.
I am dying,
day by day.
I am trying,
to put my like together one way.
I hide how I am,
is it right?
Or should I give a damn,
and put up a fight....?
(written 2 years ago....before i became myself....thats how i felt...and i know that alot of others feel this way....)
Being Away For So Long
Being away for so long, time has passed, perple have changed.
Being away for so long, I have changed, life erased.
Time and time again I go away,
thinking about what is going to happen another day.
Being away for so long, it hurts deep inside.
That when I come back to see my old friends, I just hide...
That even when I'm near, I am still gone..
My mind soars and flies away,
I long and wait for the day, that it comes back.
When it does I dont know what to do or how to act.
Being away for so long is difficult to handle on my own.
Thats why I'm glad that i have friends that have matured and grown.
Physically, I'm here, alive, and new,
but other than that, I've been gone for awhile.
I've learned how to get close with other people, even though I am scared.
Because as soon as I get close, I leave.
Being away for so long hurts me deep inside,
I've decided to stop running and not to hide.
Because no matter how long I go away I know I will always come through.
But with a different personality and point of view.
Maybe it'll be ok, maybe I'll be the same, only time will show.
Being away for so long.......now I'm gone....
No Name
What I feel, no one could imagine.
The things I see, no one would begin to understand.
All the pain I've been thru, no one should be given.
Now it's time, for me to command.
Relinquishing pain, I have suffered.
Doubtful dreams, run thru my head.
Complicated theories, yet to be recovered.
From the bullshit words that i've said.
A mind with an opposite lifestyle.
Furious with ideas, some simple thoughts.
A complete fool, is this worth while?
So many questions remain, but no answer is to be brought.
Series of phases, changing from day to day,
makes all decisions wores.
Is it possible to change these ways?
Or will this be, an everlasting curse?
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